September 1st, 2007 by admin

            A few weeks later I got the report from the oncologist that no further spreading had occurred, and I should go ahead with the surgery to remove the eye. Well this certainly was a relief but now I had to make a decision on the eye. Was I going to remove it, or was I going to believe that it would be healed? The plastic surgeon in the meantime had called and told me that the surgery he felt was best for me after his research was the simple surgery of just removing the eye and felt that my recovery would be normal. I would have a prosthetic eye made and would learn how to live with it. He also left this up to me on the time frame of the surgery and told me to just call him when I was ready to schedule it. This was around the end of April 2006. I was not ready to remove the eye. I was not sure that this is what God had for me. Could this really be God�s will? Certainly, no one that I talked with could tell me that this disease was God�s will for me. On the contrary, people would tell me that this is not God�s will and that sickness and disease is from the devil.

            As well meaning as people are, it is easy for others to advise, but when it is your body and your life, you have to make the decision. You have to determine the will of God, and for me I needed to do it quickly. The doctors try and give history of others in similar situations that they can use as reference. In my case it came down to one other person who was documented in a British medical journal. I had a different case since I had two valves in the eye. The only case that was substantial was a woman in her sixties who decided to remove the eye. She decided on the surgery. Three years later, the cancer came back and she died. This was not very reassuring about the surgery that I had to contemplate. But what would be the consequences if I kept the eye?  Of course, there are never any guarantees. Ultimately, I needed God. I needed a divine answer. Should I remove the eye as one path of healing, or should I believe for healing with my eye in tact? I knew what I wanted to do, but this was a big decision and a scary one too. I told the doctor that I would call him when I was ready for the surgery and left it at that.

This is when I shifted gears and went back to the big question:  What is truth?